Comfort in Solitude

April 2, 2020

Although social distancing isn’t a recipe for isolation, as there are many creative ways we can connect with people while physically apart, it does require us to look inward.  And while introspection can lead to existential fear about solitude, it can also help us reconnect with our core selves.  It can help us develop new ways to soothe ourselves, and strengthen old ones.  This is healthy – and healing.

Many years ago, at the age of 10, my family stayed in Maine for a week.  I remember looking up one night, and losing my breath as I absorbed the magnificence of the Milky Way.  While I’ve had the good fortune of seeing many scenes of natural beauty since that time, this was one of the most mesmerizing experiences of my life.  I remember the sudden recognition that there was a universe nurturing me, the shimmering fusion of white and black, and the absolute, perfect stillness.  In that moment, I felt whole.

Last night, I dreamed that I looked up and saw that sky again.  This was no coincidence.  By forcing us to slow down and listen to the silence around us, this virus asks us to think about who we are, and who we want to be.  It asks us to contemplate our individuality, our purpose, our identity.  It requires us to be at our most vulnerable.  It requires us to be able to care for ourselves.  Last night, I needed that night sky, and my mind found a way to provide it.

Coming to terms with solitude can be scary, but it doesn’t have to immobilize us.  Visualization is an effective tool for managing fear.  Think about a time and place when you felt fully at peace.  If you can’t think of a time, make one up.  Be aware of all of your senses in this place – sight, sound, taste, smell, touch, and intuition.  Draw it or write about it if you’re inspired.  This image belongs to you, and you only.  It represents all that is true about who you are, and it can become your comfort in solitude.

This blog post originally appeared on the Carthage College website. It has been republished with permission.

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