From Menagerie to Zoo

September 26, 2021

...As if a “complicated” dog and two quirky cats weren’t enough....As if we hadn’t decided long ago that we wouldn’t adopt another pet....As if we have a huge house and acres of land...

But when your spouse wants something this badly, and looks at you with puppy eyes herself, you know rationality won’t stand a chance.  Our list of pros and cons consisted of one or two pros, and one or two cons -- and a laundry list of unknowns.  Because when you take a leap of faith, you can’t control the outcome.

Simba is on her way.  She is a Border Collie-mix puppy, about four months old.  Huge ears, a searching gaze, a question in her pose: “will you love me?”

We already do.

But what if the dogs don’t get along?!  What if Simba has underlying health problems?  What if one of the cats goes back into hiding, or the other cat starts peeing in the house again?  What if Simba has serious behavior problems? Can we financially afford this? Can we handle the emotional roller coaster of deeply loving another living creature?

And what if we regret it?

When making decisions, this is the question that, for many people, can lead to crippling anxiety.  The question is based on an irrational thought -- that if the desired outcome doesn’t come to fruition, we should have done something differently.  That we should have known, that we are somehow to blame.  

Humans can’t predict the future.  We can base decisions on concrete information, and by taking time to view a situation from multiple perspectives -- but ultimately, life is fickle.  Plagues come out of nowhere.  Political leadership changes.  We come to the conclusion that we made a mistake, and we have to change course.  

If we shift the thought from “What if I regret it?” to “I’m making the best decision I can, with the information that I have,” we can let go of self-blame.  We can accept that we’ll do our best, no matter what happens, and that we have the fortitude to manage unexpected challenges.

Simba is arriving next weekend.  She is a leap of faith.  We’ll love and cherish her.  We’ll creatively cope with any problems that arise.  We’ll ask for help if we need it.  We made a good decision with the information we have.

I’ll keep you posted.